So we talked before about how people suck, but expectations of people treating you the way you would treat them are just as bad. Now let's talk about friendships. Do you have a particular friend in your life who you spend a lot of time with and you get along well any time you're together? If so, ask yourself what they truly give you beside laughter and helping to pass the time? Have they been the kind of friend you are? Have they been available to you when you needed them? Have they been open to your honesty without judgement? Have you been able to be truly vulnerable and know they would catch you if you fell? If your answers were "not much" and "no" then you need to reevaluate the energy you are putting into people who may not deserve it.
Just recently a person who I thought was a good friend completely turned their back on me and made me feel truly discarded. It was a feeling I would never in a million years give to someone I consider a friend. I would never have said to my friend that I don't feel the need to explain why I'm upset and it just is what it is.
Now I know the events that took place right before all of this change did not warrant all of the things that took place after. I know I did everything I should have and everything I could have. What happened, though, was my everything wasn't enough. Yes, it hurt my feelings deeply; but no, I will not fall into some black hole because someone doesn't want to be my friend anymore. What I see is a person who served a particular purpose for a short time, but they are not meant to go with me into the next phase of my life. They can't go where I'm going. They can't be the one I call when I finally get the news that I'm going to meet Oprah. They just aren't meant for my life and I have to be okay with that.
Am I okay with it? Hell yes! Because any friend of mine would never treat me the way this person did, and I'm sorry I'm not sorry for knowing my worth and standing up for what I'm willing to accept in my life. This is my journey and I will take it by the horns and ride it 'til the wheels fall off.
too much? Lol
Stay strong my beautiful people. You got this.
~until next time
Working a full time job, raising two daughters, attempting to have a social life, trying to make my family proud, and trying to make myself proud are things I do every day. I'm now beginning my journey of giving. This is step one.