Hello again, my friends. I want to tell you a story about something that happened to me recently, and I think it's really just amazing. So I don't think I've shared with you that I've begun my search for my youngest brother, Marcquise. He was taken from his mother at birth, and my father missed the opportunity to take custody of him. I've only ever seen my brother once, when he was two, at a state facility which was designated for my father's visitation at the time. He wore glasses, and I was told he suffered from seizures because his mother did drugs when she was pregnant. He was the sweetest little thing, and I never got another chance to spend time with him. I was living in Texas at the time, and when I returned to visit my family in New Jersey, I was told that he had been adopted by another family. That was the last I heard of him, although I have never stopped thinking of him. I've wondered over the years if he knows he has siblings, and if he knows how much we love him. I wonder if he knows he has a brother who passed away. I wonder if he even knows he's adopted. I made a choice to wait to search for him because I was afraid of the feedback I would get. I don't know what the situation was with my father, or if Marcquise's adoptive family wants him to know anything about where he came from. I was afraid if I reached out I would upset his life, and being a young person in today's time is hard enough.
After a conversation with my uncle, though, I realized life is far too short to take days for granted. I don't know how much time we have left in this life, and I don't want to waste them being afraid - so I started looking. Going online to search adoption records is really no help because I have zero information about his mother or where he was born or when. I think he's somewhere around 15 or 16 years old now, but I truly have no idea, and my father isn't any help when I ask for more information. With that being said, I took to social media. I searched for just his first name since I have no clue what his last name would be, and I just started looking at the pictures for all of the people who came up in my search.
I came across a picture of a young man who looks like he could possibly be related to me (I also have no idea what my brother's mother looks like), so I sent him a message. I'm sure it sounded really strange, but I basically said I've been looking for my younger brother and your features look sort of similar to my father's so could it be possible that you are who I'm searching for? Now people, when I tell you I was a nervous wreck until he responded, I am not kidding. The next day I saw that he had read my message, but still had not replied, so I reached out again with I'm sorry to bother you again but I'm sort of losing it; please tell me if there's any possibility you're my brother. Long story short, he's not my brother, but check this out:
Once we started talking, I learned he had actually been searching for his older sister for eight years before she finally found him instead. We both have similar relationships with our fathers, and our mothers are our best friends. The more we talked, it was insane how much we have in common to be complete strangers with two very different backgrounds. He doesn't like coffee (yea, that's a dead giveaway that we're not related), and I don't like chicken wings (apparently that classifies me as not Black). He's got a great sense of humor, and now I've found a new friend. We've made plans to hang out together, and I think we're going to have an amazing time.
I said all that to say: you truly never know another person's story until you ask. You never know what someone has gone through until you share what you're going through. You can't expand your life and your mind if you never make a connection with a perfect stranger, and you truly can't judge a book by its cover. I'm thankful for this new story, and I will continue to search for my brother. The universe will bring us together.
Oh, update on my 29th year outreach idea:
I've texted multiple numbers, but I don't think any of them were actual cell phone numbers; I haven't gotten any more replies. I'm not giving up, though! I'm going to keep trying, and I'll keep you updated on my progress.
Thank you again for all of your support, and I will be back soon with more for you. Stay strong my friends, and remember you are much more resilient than you think. You can get through absolutely anything if you put your mind to it and be objective. Learn the lesson and apply it to future situations. Realize everything happens for a reason, and it happens exactly the way it's supposed to. Make good decisions, and spread love.
~until next time
Working a full time job, raising two daughters, attempting to have a social life, trying to make my family proud, and trying to make myself proud are things I do every day. I'm now beginning my journey of giving. This is step one.