As a single mother of two girls I try not to be bitter or angry about what my girls' fathers don't do for them. But because I'm human, here's a short list:
Get them ready for school
Call them (ever)
Teach them right from wrong
Comfort them when they're upset
Kiss their boo-boos when they're hurt
Clean their ears
Do their hair
Take them on dates
Tell them they love them
Kiss them goodnight
Watch movies with them
Learn their favorite sayings from their favorite shows
Watch their favorite shows
Help them brush their teeth
Take them to the doctor
Pay for their insurance (or help)
Sniff their stinky toes
Let them play in their hair
Make them clean their room
Help them clean their room
Remind them to wash their hands
Help them in and out of the car
Hold their hands
Well..... You get it. I do it all. But my point is that I try not to let that growing list make me an angry mother. I had children with men who chose not to love their children. That has nothing to do with me, and I will not let it negatively affect my babies, especially while they're so young. My girls are the two most amazing people I've ever met in my life, and they love me. They remind me every day that I'm doing this thing right. I have no manual to work from but my babies tell me they're blessed to have me as their mommy. Just the fact that they use the word "blessed" tells me I'm doing something right. And today, mother's day, my girls again shower me with love and affection.
Did I get a phone call or even a text from either of their fathers? Nope. Did I get any sign of a thank you? Nope. Do I care? Nope. Why? Because they're the ones missing out. I don't need them to validate a made up holiday for me. I don't need their thanks for doing what I would give my life to do. I don't need them to recognize me for being a mother to my girls - my girls recognize me. My babies are my reminder that I am appreciated always and I am loved.
So to [insert name(s) here]:
I don't need your validation or your thanks. But you're welcome for raising your daughters to respect themselves and others the way they respect me. You're welcome for dressing them appropriately for their ages. You're welcome for making sure they look presentable when they leave the house. You're welcome for making sure they are fed and bathed. You're welcome for teaching them math and how to read and setting boundaries for what they are allowed to watch and let into their minds. You're welcome for encouraging them to speak and think for themselves. You're welcome for making your daughters the most amazing little ladies they can be. I'll continue doing so with or without you, and if you ever decide you want to experience the humans that your daughters are, you know my phone number. Feel free to reach out whenever.
~until next time
Working a full time job, raising two daughters, attempting to have a social life, trying to make my family proud, and trying to make myself proud are things I do every day. I'm now beginning my journey of giving. This is step one.