I'm about to drive home, so I can't give you the whole story right now. Just know it's coming... and epic.
I love my brother..
Check back tomorrow for the rest..
~until next time
So I'm at the nail salon, right? Everything is going fine. I get my nails done by the same woman every time. The last time I came, I got my feet done by this elderly woman. She was nice, but she cut me when she was cutting my cuticles (ladies, you already know). Now accidents happen, but when it came to my ingrown toenails, it was CLEAR she had no idea how to really cut them properly. The cuticle thing ON TOP of that was just unacceptable.
So back to today... I need my feet done, and there's ^^ this lady and a DIFFERENT lady. I'm trying so hard to scheme on how to get this new lady instead of the one that cut me last time. So I stop in front of different lady and say, "Are you doing my pedicure?" Of course she says no and points to the chair the ^^ OTHER lady is walking toward. I'm immediately thinking DAMN, THIS LADY IS ABOUT TO MESS ME UP. But I sit down, and I'm watching her so closely I think she can smell my breath lol.
So she does all her stuff and gets to my toenails and by golly she doesn't hurt me! She walks away to grab something or other and I put my hand in that water so fast! I start pressing on the sides of my big toes (anyone with ingrown toenails knows this can hurt like hell) and I don't feel anything! Hot damn! She does all her other stuff and I sorta relaxed for the rest of it. By the time she was done, I didn't want to throat punch her!
Moral of the story: throat punching is bad, and sometimes people don't royally screw up their second chances.
and.... I have cute feet lol
~until next time
Doing the right thing is really easy most of the time. The choice is clear and the decision is simple. Sometimes, though, doing the right thing will break your heart. It will shatter you into a million pieces and you won't be able to do anything but accept what's coming. The right choice will sit like a stone in the back of your throat, threatening at every word to sink to your stomach and drop you to your knees. You'll choke back your words and try to keep yourself from breaking down, knowing you still have to act on one of the most difficult truths you've ever had to accept.
You'll contemplate going the other way and ignoring everything you know to be true. You'll tell yourself it doesn't matter that it's the right thing - it's not the easy thing. You'll struggle with that knot growing in your stomach, and then you'll do it. You'll jump off the cliff and grab that lump in your throat by the balls. You'll snatch it out and find your words and say all the truths you know. There won't be any convincing necessary - the truth is undeniable. What won't happen, though, is you feeling instant relief. You won't immediately feel better and want to move on with your day. You won't be able to hide from the pain you feel. You won't be able to take your words back, and you won't be able to undo what happened.
At that point, my friends, is where you find your true strength. More often than not people struggle with the consequences of doing the right thing so they keep doing the wrong thing. They think it's easier to just pretend nothing is wrong and keep moving. Well I'll tell you that they're wrong. They have no idea how strong they are because they've never taken the opportunity to feel pain in the effort to grow. Do you remember having those random pains in your legs and joints when you were younger? Your mother probably called them "growing pains". Well your heart is like that too. There are going to come times where you have to hurt in order to become a better version of yourself. You have to stretch and exercise your heart and your feelings to know that when something difficult arises, you can deal with it head-first and come out stronger, better. Every time you choose the right thing, even, and especially, when the right thing is the hard thing, you gain new strength. You find new power within yourself to overcome.
Standing up for what you know is right makes you a force to be reckoned with. Don't be afraid to set boundaries and draw those lines deep in the sand. Don't be afraid to say the hard things. Don't be afraid to stand up for your happiness and your karma. Don't be afraid to cry when you're hurting. Don't be afraid to ask for help.
Don't be afraid to say "this isn't working".
Don't be afraid to break your own heart.
Don't be afraid of truth.
~until next time
Given my post from yesterday, I thought I should post a more in depth conclusion to my whole experience... Here goes....
Although you will find more people than not in your lifetime who rub you the wrong way, you should never let that stop you from allowing yourself to laugh and get caught up in the moment with another person. Every once in a while you will find someone who, like you, prefers their chicken with no bones. You will think they're crazy because they only like mozzarella cheese, and only if it's melted. You will laugh and joke and it will feel great when you find it.
You are bound to find someone you instantly want to be best friends with. You are destined to want to never stop talking to someone. We may not all know who that someone is, but if you're patient, you'll be staying up all night just because you wanted "5 more minutes" 72 times. When you find that person, do what you can to learn about them. Find out what makes them happy. Find out what makes them mad. Find out how they handle their anger. Ask about religious views. Ask about goals. Even ask what they would do if they won the lottery... all of this is good information..
Most of all, though, don't ever let your past negative experiences stop you from taking a chance on someone new.
When I find my One, I hope he loves me the way I love me. I hope he never takes my time for granted. I hope he pays attention to the little things that make me smile. I hope he jokes with me. I hope he wants to be a better father than I could've imagined for my children. I hope he wants to watch me sing songs in my car in Sign Language. I hope he gets excited when he thinks of me. I hope he's mine and I'm his forever.
~until next time
Geez, I haven't posted in a while.. sorry to have left you for so long, my friends!
So sort of funny story... I'll start by confirming for you all that I'm single, so I go out on dates from time to time. No one so far has been able to really spark my interest enough to take me off the market (Partially because I have someone in my back pocket who lives very far away, but I don't see that going anywhere long term).
So I meet this guy, and before we execute actual plans to go out and do something, we meet up at a local place to sort of see what the vibe is like. Almost immediately it gets REALLY awkward (I won't embarass him) but I was NOT ok with how the interaction was going. I go home and think about it all, and even told him what I was thinking and feeling, and he decides to "ghost" me. Now for those of you who don't know what that is, it means he just stopped responding and reaching out - with no explanation. I'm fine with that, we had only spoken for the first time a week earlier, so it was no big deal to me.
Fast forward a couple of weeks and I get a text message with some sort of cartoon self-help video. I have no idea who it's from (I don't save phone numbers of people I have no continuing relationship with - friends or dating) so I ask "Who is this?" I get no response. Then I see there is a comment on my last blog from this person (name was listed) with the same type of video. So I do the adult thing. I respond to the text asking him not to do that again and explaining that my website is a place to speak your thoughts, not carry out some butt-hurt agenda using someone else's words. His response: "maybe this will teach you something about yourself." Or something to that effect.
Now the fun part.....
People, don't EVER let someone else's words or actions make you question how or why you aren't comfortable with something. I am not a puppet, and I do not belong to you! I will be offended by what I please, and cut people off when I feel it is necessary. Sir, (you know who you are) I will tell you once and only once to get yourself together and realize who you are speaking to. I am not a young, or weak minded woman with no direction, taking on the feelings and opinions of others as her own. I will never feel bad for my actions unless I was wrong. I will never apologize for saying I don't want someone in my space. I will never NEED a man to make me feel beautiful, valued, or heard. With that being said, I have NO problem saying goodbye.
My friends, NEVER be afraid to do that ^^. You are important. You make the decisions regarding who you allow into your life and your space. Don't sell yourself short.
~until next time
You are allowed to feel how you feel. You are allowed to want to do things with some people and exclude others. You are allowed to choose what you want to do with your body. You must, though, be honest about it. You must be truthful about how you feel. You need to tell people what you want and act accordingly, even if it may temporarily hurt someone's feelings. If they are mature, they will appreciate your honesty more than they are hurt by wanting something from you that you are unable or unwilling to give.
Life just works that way. You might have a friend you don't really want to hang out with at a certain time. You might meet a new guy (or girl) that you like so far but you're not willing to swap spit just yet. You might fall in love with the wrong person and have to hold back all of your silliness and affection because you don't want to have unrealistic expectations of where it's going. You might have a father you don't really speak to... it's all the same. We're all allowed to set our boundaries. We're all allowed to feel what we feel. We just have to be willing to deal with the feelings and reactions of others based on what we do.
It's tricky, I know, but we all have choices. Choose wisely.
~until next time
Working a full time job, raising two daughters, attempting to have a social life, trying to make my family proud, and trying to make myself proud are things I do every day. I'm now beginning my journey of giving. This is step one.