I love you so much I just can't stand it. I love you like 'the sun misses the flower'. I love you so much it hurts. I love you more than I knew was possible. I never knew I could feel so strongly about someone I almost never knew. I should have never taken you for granted. I should have listened to you years ago. I should have paid more attention to you and given you what you needed. Never again in my life will I be too busy to sit alone with you. Never again will I put you last.
These are the words I say to myself; they're the words you should say to yourself. You should love you more than anyone else on the planet can. You have to take your time and allow yourself recovery. You can't pour from an empty cup.
~until next time
Not everyone will live up to the standards and boundaries you set for your life. With that being said, you will hopefully, at all times, be aware enough of your own truth to speak your mind freely and honestly regarding how others' actions make you feel. You will use that awareness to convey a sense of urgency for those around you to "step up their game" or lose you forever. You will not be swayed by charming words or enticing memories of laughs and moments once shared; you will stand your ground and stay in truth. Yes, you will wonder why you are giving these people so many chances, and you won't always have the answer to that question. You will, however, know what needs to be done. Your mind and heart may battle a little but in the end that feeling in your gut will tell you, "Momma didn't raise a fool." Stand up for that feeling. Speak up for that feeling. Think of the hurt you've lived through and how many of those painful experiences were prefaced by that same feeling in your gut. Make a choice to not hurt yourself (because at this point, it's no one's fault but yours). Make a choice to give your time and energy to those who would never take you for granted. Being stood up once with a good enough excuse may be forgiven, but when we make it to double digits, Houston, we have a problem. ...no, really... walk away...
And never forget, my people, always be thankful for your right mind. Always have gratitude for your compass pointing toward self-preservation and happiness. And if you ever decide to look back, do it with a forgiving heart. Be glad you dodged a bullet, and sad they missed out on the best thing they've ever almost known.
~until next time
Working a full time job, raising two daughters, attempting to have a social life, trying to make my family proud, and trying to make myself proud are things I do every day. I'm now beginning my journey of giving. This is step one.